Jessica Chobot is a babe.

Jessica Chobot is not the perfect Game Girl.

There, I said it. And I am still enamored with the new flavor-of-the-month geek magnet. She plays games. She loves anime. She immerses herself in Asian pop-culture. And yes, she looks pretty too.

But as I read her weekly columns on IGN and Red Assed Baboon and watch her guest spots on G4, I think, she’s not perfect. Let me break it down for you:

Looks: She obviously has the looks. Or does she? I lived in Manhattan for a couple of years and was surrounded by models. Even the wannabees who couldn’t make it as models were unbelievable. If I spotted Jessica in the middle of a crowd on the streets of Midtown, odds are the girl next to her would be just as hot, if not hotter. Then I think maybe she’s just “Geek Hot”. Let me explain this theory – you know how Sarah Michelle Gellar isn’t that hot, but yet every geek in the world thinks she’s the most beautiful woman ever created, just because she was Buffy? Or how geeks love redheads just because of Gillian Anderson? So maybe Jessica isn’t as good looking as we think, but just elevated to uber-babe status because the geeks haven’t seen a chick that hot in their parents’ basement since Baywatch got canceled. Give me 30 minutes in Manhattan and I’ll pick five women off the street that would make her look average. Still, if she bought me a drink I wouldn’t say no, far from it… Eight out of Ten

Personality: So maybe looks and personality don’t work independently, but rather as a compound. And as she spews on about which MMORPG is better, Guild Wars or WoW, our nose bleeds go from a drip to a firehose. But let me ask you, guys. Would you really want your hot girlfriend to blab incessantly about her passing knowledge of anime, preaching why you shouldn’t buy Ninja Scroll 2 (FYI, Jessica, there wasn’t a Ninja Scroll 2)? No way. I’m not even sure she’s any good at playing games, maybe she’s only good at talking about them. Let her talk about politics, religion, or the last good book she read, something to compliment her physical attraction. Herein lies the “Common Denominator” rule – to explain another theory, a girl is only as hot as the words coming out of her mouth. A hot girl automatically loses points the minute she starts debating whether the Xbox is better than the PS2. Video games are cool, not hot, and talking about them in public makes you a geek. And no one wants to date a geek, because they are annoying, lack social skills and smell funny. See? Jessica isn’t that hot anymore. Three out of Ten

The name: Jessica Chobot. Girls with a name like that aren’t born, they are manufactured and sold for copious amounts of cash to the highest bidder. That is why regardless of I just said about her, she will never be in any of our price ranges. Ten out of Ten.

So on average, her Game Girl ranking is a Seven out of Ten. Not bad, but not perfect. Maybe I have a shot when her fifteen minutes of fame are over…